JUST... Valley

Well, this seems like a neat thing to do! So here's an intro to the impending shenanigans.

My name is Valley, and as stated in my bio, my pronouns are they/them (exclusively). I am a queer, awkward, whole other list of things we'll get into some day.  As for now, I work with animals and I'm passionate about writing.  This site was introduced to me through my Aunt Amy- everyone needs an Aunt Amy, and you should go subscribe to her NOW!! and you’ll understand a tiny bit of why- who has always guided me in the best ways she knows how and I admire deeply. Her writing will not only teach you about Long COVID and her story (as implied by the name) but draw you in with whit and descriptions that paint a full and broad picture. **Disclaimer: this is not a sponsored ad**

In the meantime, I’d like to tell you about my name.

Surprise, it’s Valley. Yes, I did pick it myself, thanks for asking! As a genderless trans individual (which feels a little like an oxymoron, but that’s another story for another day) I decided that I didn’t feel all too connected with my given name anymore. If I lost connection with my gender, my name is just one more little tie to cut in efforts to part ways and become my true self.

It took me a while to land on this name. My birth name was just a little too closely associated with my gender assigned at birth. I wanted to feel more like me. See also: gender dysphoria.

The naming process was very much a process. I came up with a list at one point and trying to pick was a little difficult. I guess it’s sort of like car shopping in a way; you could have an idea in mind, or several, of what you might want, but once you’re actually looking and trying different ones out, you get a better feel for it. Queso was just a car on its last legs to get me to the dealership. AJ had some nice features, but I couldn’t quite get comfortable with it, even using it aimlessly for several months. Noah was my dream, but waaaay over budget, considering my life circumstances. All that searching and detaching from certain parts of me made me miss my old nickname. That’s not to say I missed my gender, it’s just that AJ crapped out after a few months. That’s the beauty of cars- and names- though; you can take them for a test run before you decide. You don’t ever even have to decide. You don’t even need to be trans to try out a new name.

Part of me wished I could just stick with my original nickname. Part of me still wonders if I should go back to it from time to time, but then being deadnamed in spaces with people who only know who I used to be quickly squashes it. It led me to wonder how I could configure/incorporate my old nickname into my new name. It also seemed like the easiest way to aid the transition (figuratively and literally) when I formally came out to my family.

So I landed on Valley. Close enough. It feels a little weird because it’s so close to what I used to go by, but it most closely aligns with me. I’ve known so few other non-cis-non-binary-gender-nonconforming-anything-but-cis individuals personally that I justified giving into the stereotype of naming myself after another noun instead of a normal name. That being said, my feelings on the matter are a little conflicting because the idea of ‘falling into enby (abbreviation for non-binary) stereotypes creates a binary’ was in the back of my head during this process. Then again, f*ck it, because my gender- or entire lack thereof- and what brings me euphoria falls entirely in my own lap and what happens in my lap is no one else’s business. (Hehe, we love good trans humor in this house)

The only downside to my new name has been initial introductions. “Valerie? Nice to meet you! Can I call you Val?”

No and no.

“How do you spell that?” Followed by me describing my name as the land mass, despite not being entirely sure if a valley is considered a land mass. It’s been way too long since grade school geography.

Ultimately, my name, much like my gender, is something I came to understand and create for myself. It’s custom. It’s not exactly what I want, but I cannot possibly find better for what it’s worth. It’s cozy and gets me from point A to point B. It’s a conversation piece to some people for some reason, and maybe I can eventually feel confident enough to use it as a segue (which I just found out is spelt like that, not the phonetical spelling) into telling people my pronouns.

It feels like a good phrase for what I’m using this platform for too. It’s not about anything in particular, just things that happen in my life and things I relate to. Not Valerie, not Val,

Just… Valley!